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Saturday, July 23, 2011
Persistence and DeterminationA friend passed away suddenly recently. He was a remarkable
individual. He was short and small yet managed to score a touchdown in a high school football game. He developed Parkinsons'
disease, yet never lost his sense of humor. When out with some friends walking, he fell headfirst down a hill, hitting
his head on a rock. When his frightened friends reached him, he said "That fall would have killed a lesser man."
As an attorney, he had a picture of a pitbull on his wall. That was Jim - all grit and determination. These are
the words he lived by: "Nothing in the world can take the place of persistence. Talent will not; nothing is more
common than unsuccessful men with talent. Genius will not; urewarded genius is almost a proverb. Education will not;
the world is full of educated derelicts. Persistence and determination alone are omnipotent." Calvin Coolidge.
RIP, Jim. The world was a better place for your determined spirit.
11:58 am edt
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I think a lot about change - how to help others to change, how to change patterns in my own life.
Change is a constant in life, but intentional change may not be. How does one begin to change problematic behaviors
or relationships? An interesting model of change that looks at how change takes place over time is the Transtheoretical
Model of Change by Velicer, Prochaska, et al. It can be seen at: www.uri.edu/research/cprc/TTM/detailedoverview.htm.
Their
model has five stages: precontemplation, contemplation, preparation, action and maintenance. What does this mean?
For all of us there is a period of time when we don't even think about change. There may be things we are doing
that are unhealthy, but we don't want to think about it. Next, we move into contemplation - gosh, this isn't
working for me, maybe I should think about changing it. This stage can take a short time or a very long time, especially
if the change is hard, scary or unsupported by others. Then we start thinking about how we would go about changing -
what steps do we have to take, who do we need to help us, etc. Then we go into action, implementing the changes, working
with obstacles, changing the plan so it works. Finally, we go about maintaining those changes, although usually
not at quite the intensity of the action phase. Relapse happens, sometimes all the way back to precontemplation, and
then we try again. For some difficult behaviors like eating disorders, we may cycle through this several times before
finally succeeding.
When I think about this
model for myself, I realize that there is usually a "tipping point" when it becomes clear that staying the same
is more problematic than changing. A new piece of health information, an interaction with someone that is repeatedly
painful, will push me into action. Why is it that some people reach this "tipping point" and others don't?
Is there a lack of belief in the ability to change, a lack of skills, a lack of support?
I'd like to hear your thoughts. So, what helps you get started? What
do you do to overcome obstacles? How do you build resources to help change? When do you know the strategy you are trying is
not working? How do you solve problems and go back to trying again? Email me at pat@patricialayton.com and I will share your thoughts here. I will not use your name or email addresses for any purpose and
will protect your identity if you share an idea. I would like this to be a forum for your thoughts.
Quotations about change:
In my continuing search for wisdom about change I have come across the following quotations.
Some contain wisdom, some are humorous, all caught my attention. Feel free to email me with your favorites!
When we are no longer able
to change a situation we are challenged to change ourselves. - Victor Frankl
They must often change, who would be constant
in happiness or wisdom. - Confucius
You can avoid having ulcers by adapting to the situation: If you fall in the mud puddle,
check your pockets for fish. - author unknown
If nothing ever changed, there'd be no butterflies.- author unknown
Stubbornness does have its
helpful features. You always know what you are going to be thinking tomorrow. - Glen Beaman
It is not necessary to change.
Survival is not mandatory - W. Edwards Deming
All changes, even the most longed for, have their melancholy; for what we leave behind us is
a part of ourselves; we must die to one life before we can enter another. - Anatole France
I put a dollar in one of
those change machines. Nothing changed. - George Carlin
If you don't like something change it; if you can't change it, change the way you think
about it. - Mary Engelbreit
God grant me the serenity to accept the people I cannot change, the courage to change the one
I can, and the wisdom to know it's me. - author unknown.
